Country Bumpkins in a Big City

Today I traveled outside of my comfort zone into a city filled with so many humans that I could not believe my eyes. I learned a few things.

Thing number one: The CVS in Newton does not have a public bathroom for my 7 year old daughter.

Thing number two: Not that I’m obsessed with public bathrooms or anything, but the ones on the East Coast do not provide users with paper seat covers. WTH, man? Who are these savages anyway?

Thing number three: On a beautiful summer day like today, many people here got into their cars and drove to a big building with big windows allowing me to see that the building was full of treadmills. On the treadmills were many human hamsters, running or walking in place, indoors. Apparently, they paid for this experience. Hel-looooo people! Right outside are these things called sidewalks, and you can run or walk on them…are you ready for this? For FREE! And they come with birds singing and fresh air so you don’t have to breathe the nasty workout breath or smell the stinky stench of the other human hamsters around you.

Thing number four: When you live in a big city, with lots of people all around, and you rely on public transportation to get around, apparently you forget the definition of “personal space”. I learned this today, my friends, when I took the train into Boston. It was a great experience really. Here are the details. First, we drove to the parking garage where we paid $6 to park our car. Then we put $20 in a machine that spat out a ticket for us to get on the train. Next we boarded the train where $8 was debited from our ticket ($2 per adult, kids were free) and proceeded to sit on the train for 40 minutes to get into Boston. If we would have driven ourselves we would have been there in 15 minutes and paid $11 to park the car all day.

We cruised around Boston. Saw Fanueil Hall, Quincy Market, and the grave of Paul Revere, etc.


Back at the train station, $8 more was debited from our ticket for the return fare. Now back to the personal space thing…

You see, people are packed into this moving metal box like sardines, sitting, standing, sitting on stairs, crammed into this place. For about 15 minutes of the trip, the woman standing next to me was reading a stapled stack of about 20 papers and she held these papers approximately 2 cm away from my hazel colored left eyeball.

This was all great and fun and all that, but for those of you who don’t know where I live, I’m used to a population density of 4 people and 5 dogs on 640 acres. To sum it all up, super fun, love to visit, love the history and excitement, but home for me is home on the range.


2 responses

  1. Hi Hillary, your Auntie Jan sent me this and I thought it was hysterical, I felt the same way a few weeks ago when we went to visit my son in NYC – even thou I grew up in Boston (right on the green line) things were different then – I think w/ age and living out in the suburbs for the last 20 something years, the city life just isn’t for me either thou it is fun to visit (especially down at the waterfront) Hope you enjoy the rest of your visit – your aunt keeps me updated on all of you – one of these days it would be nice to get together

    Auntie Jan’s BFF – moe

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